


Patience

by vanpora



Category: EXID (Band)
Genre: F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-14 02:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanpora/pseuds/vanpora
Summary: Hyojin hasn't looked at her timer in years. She refuses to after falling in love with someone who wasn't her soulmate, but everything changes when they step back into her life and she realizes she never stopped loving them.





	1. Past & Present

**Author's Note:**

> rated t for drinking and cursing cus it isnt an exid fic if it doesnt have one or the other

 

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._

“Your clock is ticking” is what they said, or what they wanted to say whenever Hyojin stopped by her parents place. It irked her, naturally, but she understood her parent's worry. She wasn’t young, but she wasn’t old either. She was in an awkward part of adulthood that made her feel suffocated and anxious for the future.  
  
There was time to get married, but there was also time to further her career. She was probably one of the few people she knew at her age who hadn't checked their timer in years. The device, despite its small composition, felt like a giant weight tied around her. A dreadful reminder that her fate was inevitable.  
  
Just the thought of it made her stomach twist into a knot and her nose wrinkle. Some things are just never in your control but _this_ , the person she was destined to be with for the rest of her life, she’d try her hardest to avoid. Soulmates meant love, love meant marriage, and marriage meant a whole lot of other things she didn’t want to dive into.  
  
Hyojin was independent and liked control. She definitely wasn't going to let the clock dictate her love life.

She learned that the hard way when she was younger.

 _I wonder how_ **_she’s_ ** _doing nowadays. I wonder if_ **_she_ ** _found her soulmate..._  
  
She quickly shakes her head at the thought with a grimace.  
  
She reminds her parents she’s content with her life and they drop the subject for a while. She’s relieved when they do and enjoys the dinner they have later that night before saying goodbye and heading home.  
  
Hyojin gripped the steering wheel of the car and drove down the street. Despite the liveliness of the city, it felt strangely solemn. Countless lights flickered by in a blur while Hyojin moved past them, reds, greens and yellows all melting together.  
  
She spared a glance at the people on the sidewalk as she slowly came to a red light. Her eyes landed on a couple holding hands and laughing, affectionately leaning into each others side and smiling widely. Regret settled over her and she quickly looked away.

The memory of a bright smile, crinkled eyes and flowing red hair crossed her mind. Her gaze flitted to the clock on her wrist and her grip on the wheel tightened.  
  
_Forget about it already, Hyojin_ , she sighed to herself as the light turned green.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Hyojin wasn’t much of a clubber. She preferred drinking in the comfortable, familiar solitude of either her home or studio which her friends always scolded her for. “Drinking alone is how you become an alcoholic,” Heeyeon once said, earning a snort from Hyelin and a beating from Hyojin. Tonight though, Hyelin managed to convince (threaten) her to come out to a new club where their high school reunion was being held.  
  
As much as Hyojin didn't want to spend the night dodging questions from nosy old high school classmates, she owed it to Hyelin who had been there for her more times than she could count. She could survive tonight. She hoped she could at least.  
  
“What kind of name is ‘Hippity Hop’?” Hyojin groaned as Hyelin dragged her out the car. Her brows furrowed further together as her gaze rested on the large neon pink bunny hovering above the entrance. She shot Hyelin a dubious look which seemingly made her even more eager to enter.  
  
“It’ll be fun!” she grinned as she threw her arm around Hyojin. Grudgingly, she walked in with her and ignored the sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.  
  
Her mouth fell open slightly when she scanned the inside. Everything was vibrant, very vibrant. Hot pink strobe lights and neon signs filled her sight as she tried not to lose Hyelin in the sea of people on the dance floor. Obnoxious pop music pulsed from speakers set up along the brick walls, bass boosted enough for Hyojin to feel the vibrations in her bones.  
  
“You are here,” Hyojin muttered to herself as she read one of the signs. She felt Hyelin tug forcefully on her sleeve and tore her gaze away from the decorations. She followed after her as she led them past people and towards a space off in the corner.  
  
She furrowed her brows when Hyelin gestured towards a booth in the corner, surprisingly vacant among the full tables near them.  
  
"I pulled some strings for a good booth," Hyelin winked mischievously.  
  
Hyojin scoffed as she sat down. "I don’t like how ominous that sounds.”  
  
"Oh, shut up. Apparently Heeyeon is friends with the club owner."  
  
"What?" Hyojin laughed. "Don’t tell me she’s the one who suggested to have the reunion here."  
  
Hyelin shrugged lamely and pulled out her phone, quickly texting their old friend Heeyeon on her whereabouts. A second after pressing send, a familiar, and grating voice, drew their attention.  
  
"Elly baby the crazy!" Heeyeon shouted as she parted the crowd of people, drinks spilling over her hands.  
  
"Oh, my god," Hyojin groaned into her hand. Hyelin laughed loudly and tackled Heeyeon into a hug, taking a drink from her and immediately downing it. Hyojin took the other one from her before she spilled it all over herself.  
  
"I missed you two!" Heeyeon squeezed Hyelin and tried reaching for Hyojin, only to have her hand smacked away. Hyelin finally squirmed out of her her grip and sat back down, drink still in hand.  
  
"I see you haven't changed," Hyojin gave a small smile as Heeyeon joined them.  
  
"Why change perfection?" she winked. Hyelin made a gagging motion and Hyojin laughed into her drink, already feeling strangely lighthearted. It had been a while since they had all talked, even longer since they last hung out. Last she had heard from Heeyeon, she had been dying in college, swarmed by exams and drowning in homework. Hyojin definitely didn't miss those days.  
  
Now, here she was, as lively as the day she met her. Hyojin felt her lips tug into a fond smile and punched her shoulder lightly. "What's been up with you?" she asked, "It's been a while since we caught up."  
  
"Ah," Heeyeon smiled widely, before dramatically bringing her drink to her lips and taking a long sip. Hyojin and Hyelin both exchanged confused  glances, until Hyelin's eyes widened and a gasp left her lips.  
  
Hyojin's brows furrowed further in confusion before Hyelin finally pointed at Heeyeon's hand.  
  
And that's when she finally noticed the ring.  
  
"What the hell?" Hyojin blurted, staring at it in disbelief.  
  
Heeyeon shot her a wink and ran her hand through her hair, making sure the ring was fully visible. "Ahn Heeyeon is an engaged woman now," she smiled.  
  
"Well, shit," Hyelin laughed and raised her drink at her. Hyojin was still reeling from the news and tried to think of something to say.  
  
"Your timer?" was all she could manage.  
  
Heeyeon blinked and revealed her wrists. Her bare wrists. Hyojin felt her jaw tense. “It was crazy, the way it fell off so quickly,” Heeyeon recalled, “The minute our eyes met, bam! Guess it was love at first sight, huh?” she grinned. It gradually fell when she noticed Hyojin’s pensive expression. “Hyojin?”  
  
Reality settled back in quickly. Hyojin patted her on the back and flashed a smile. "Must have been. I just pray for whoever has to eat your cooking," she laughed airily. Hyelin snickered into her hand and Heeyeon shoved her gently. Hyojin took a long drink and exhaled with a grimace at the fruity aftertaste. She needed something stronger for tonight.  
  
"Seriously, I can't wait for you two to meet her! She's really easy to get along with. I've told her a lot about you guys…"  
  
Heeyeon continued to rant animatedly about her fiance and somewhere along the way Hyojin found herself tuning out. Heeyeon’s voice turned into a distant muffle as her eyes slowly drifted around the club, passing over the dance floor and eventually settling on the sight of the bar.

 _Well, hello_.  
  
"I'll be back," she said abruptly. Hyelin raised a brow at her.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm gonna go get us some more drinks," she said. "Want anything specific?"  
  
Heeyeon perked up. "You know those little umbrellas? Can you-"  
  
"Soju's fine," Hyelin interjected with an eye roll.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Hyojin left the table and shook her head with a small smile as the two of them bickered behind her. _Some things never change._

She maneuvered carefully past old peers, swiftly dodging any and all attempts at conversation until she got to the bar. She seated herself down on a stool with relieved sigh and waited for the tender. She ran a hand through her hair and huffed when she caught a glimpse of her timer. Roughly, she pulled down her sleeve and rested her hand on the counter with the timer facing down. It was the last thing she wanted to think about.  
  
"Still not fond of it, hm?" a warm voice greeted her. Despite the pulse of the loud music drowning out her thoughts, Hyojin could still recognize who it belonged to. Hesitantly, she looked over her shoulder and felt the air rush from her lungs the moment their eyes met.  
  
"Solji?" she breathed.  
  
"I'm surprised you recognized me so quickly. I could hardly recognize you," she smiled.  
  
That smile.  
  
Fuck.  
  
_Fuck._

Memories began to flicker in her mind like an old projector along with feelings she thought died long ago. Subconsciously, she had balled her right hand into a fist, the side where her timer resided.  
She realized she was staring and quickly looked away, looking anywhere and everywhere but at her.  
  
"Uh," she faltered, "I didn't think I'd see you here."  
  
"I could say the same. You always said you'd never go to this thing."  
  
Her heart began to hammer in her chest as she watched Solji sit down right beside her. She bit the inside of her cheek and silently prayed the bartender would hurry up already.  
  
"I wasn't going to, but Hyelin forced me to," Hyojin admitted with a strained smile.  
  
"Oh? Hyelin's here?" Solji grinned and peered around.  
  
"She's in a booth in the back," Hyojin said and against her better judgment, looked up at her.  
  
The warmth in her chest grew tenfold when she took in her appearance. Even with all the years that passed since she'd last seen her, Solji looked the same, save for the change in hair color. Certainly more mature and sophisticated, but still as beautiful as she remembered.  
  
Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders in perfect waves and her smile was still as bright as ever, with full lips and perfectly round cheeks. The captivating gleam in her eye was still there and Hyojin wasn’t sure if that made her happy or distressed.  
  
She sighed and smiled gratefully at the bartender as he finally placed a few bottles of soju in front of her. She glanced over at Solji hesitantly, knowing it’d be rude to just leave her like this.  
  
The words weighed heavily on her tongue as she gazed at her. Suddenly, she was 18 all over again and incapable of being herself around Solji.  
  
_Come on, Hyojin._ _Come on._  
  
"Do you want to join us?" she said quickly, the words spilling out of her mouth like water.  
  
Solji's lips parted slightly in surprise before breaking out into a bright smile.

That damned smile.  
  
"I'd love to," she said and followed after her.

* * *

They spent the rest of the night passing drinks and embarrassing themselves in front of each other like old times. Really, nothing had changed and Hyojin couldn't have been any happier about it. They completely made her forget about soulmates and the stupid timer.  
  
Heeyeon's fiance, they later found out, was Park Junghwa, the school's old star cheerleader, also not to mention the proud owner of Hippity Hop. Hyelin didn't hold back on the trophy wife comments which flustered Heeyeon and only made the rest of them laugh.  
  
Hyelin also didn't hold back on the glances she kept shooting her and Solji, to which Hyojin responded to by kicking her leg under the table and giving her a pointed look to stay quiet.  
  
She tried her best to seem as indifferent as possible as they sat together, which worked for the most part until Solji started getting tipsy and clingy, her head beginning to lean on her shoulder. It was close enough for Hyojin to smell the shampoo she used and her heart to start drumming in her chest again.    
  
As if hearing her prayers, Heeyeon and Junghwa called it a night and started bidding everyone goodbye. Solji sat up and ran a hand through her hair, still visibly drunk. Hyojin clenched her jaw and sighed deeply through her nose.  
  
"Are you okay to drive home?" she asked.  
  
"Ah, I came in a taxi," she smiled softly.  
  
Hyojin wasn't sure what compelled the next words to leave her mouth.  
  
"I'll drive you home."  
  
_Maybe I'm not as sober as I thought._  
  
"Uh," Hyelin slurred, "we came in my car." She paused. "Have you seen my purse?"  
  
Hyojin rolled her eyes and pointed at her shoulder, where her purse was obviously hanging off of. "Yeah, you seem really fit to drive right now. I'll drive so you can knock out in the back."  
  
"You really are my best friend," Hyelin pouted and stumbled into her side, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug. Hyojin let out an exasperated sigh and laughed when she saw Solji's amused expression.  
  
"Come on," she waved over at Solji, ignoring the racing of her heart as she followed closely behind.

* * *

The drive back was calm, save for Hyelin's loud snores in the back seat. Solji sobered up slightly, her head resting on her palm as she stared quietly out the passenger window. Hyojin swore it was silent enough for her to hear the ticking of their timers.  
  
"I really enjoyed tonight," Solji spoke suddenly. Hyojin glanced over at her as they came to a red light.  
  
"I did too," she said simply, honestly. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she missed her. She missed Solji.  
  
"I missed you," Solji said, as if reading her mind. Hyojin felt her heart speed up and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "Why'd we stop talking?" she turned towards Hyojin.  
  
_Fuck_.  
  
Hyojin didn't respond immediately. Instead, she focused silently on the road ahead of her until she could think of something, anything to say. Anything besides the truth at least.  
  
And the truth was that she couldn't handle it back then. She couldn't handle being in love with her and knowing they weren't meant for each other. She couldn't handle looking at the timer and still seeing it counting down despite having already found who she wanted to be her soulmate. The easiest thing she could do was to distance herself. It was the easiest way she could lessen the pain.  
  
She glanced over warily at Solji who was still awaiting a reply. She licked her lips and sighed, "I don't know," she said at last. "I was going through a lot at the time and distanced myself from people and," she paused before glancing at Solji, "I regret how I handled some of it."  
  
Solji gazed at her curiously before smiling and squeezing her shoulder. "I understand," she said and looked back out the window. "I hope we can be friends again now. You meant a lot to me, Hyojin."  
  
"You did too," Hyojin whispered.  
  
_More than you know_.

* * *

Hyojin stared up at the ceiling, eyes exhausted yet wide awake as she lied in bed. Her hand continued to clench and unclench around the piece of paper anxiously, unsure of what to do with it. She brought it up again, unwrapping it to reveal the number scribbled on it.  
  
( _xxx-xxx-xxxx) lets meet again soon - solji :)_  
  
A knot formed in her throat as she read it over and over as if the words would change the more she stared. She clenched her jaw and crumpled it up again, turning it into a ball before tossing it into the drawer of her nightstand. A familiar ache swelled in her chest. Even after all this time, there was still one feeling that weighed her down the most.

Regret.  
  
She turned over on her side to face the wall and closed her eyes with a hopeless sigh.

  
Despite the haziness of her dreams, she could faintly make out Solji’s smile.

* * *

It takes a week for Hyojin to cave in. A week of Hyelin's constant pushing at least.  
  
Her hands shook slightly as she typed in the phone number and she would've laughed at how ridiculous she was being if she wasn't completely nerve wracked.  
  
She didn't know why she was doing this when she already knew it was a lost cause, but she still couldn't stop herself from thinking about that note every second of the day.  
  
_You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak,_ Hyojin told herself as she repeatedly typed in and deleted the number. A groan slipped past her lips as she fell back on the bed, her phone still clutched tightly in her hand. She had typed it enough times to memorize it by heart now.  
  
Her timer felt heavier than usual today and Hyojin wanted nothing more than to tear it off and beam it at the wall in frustration. If it didn't exist, she would've taken a chance by now. She wouldn't have distanced herself from Solji all those years ago and completely give up on love.  
  
_This is ridiculous_.  
  
She glared at her wrist and tightened her grip on her phone. She was still acting like a coward because of the bullshit timer when she promised herself she wouldn't let it control her life. Hyojin clenched her jaw and took a deep breath.  
  
With renewed confidence, she grabbed her phone and typed in Solji's number. Her fingers worked quickly as she typed up a short message and hit send without giving herself time to hesitate.  
  
She threw her phone to the side and fell back on her bed, her hands covering her face and a loud sigh leaving her lips. She knew if Hyelin were here she'd be mocking her for being so scared and Hyojin would be beating her to death with a pillow. At least then she'd have a way to take out her stress.  
  
A notification chimed from her phone almost instantly and Hyojin felt her heart sink into her stomach. Slowly, she sat up and reached for it, taking a deep breath before unlocking it.  
  
_-Hyojin: hey, im free this weekend and thought we could hang out. dinner’s on me._  
  
_-Solji: I'd love to!! When and where?_  
  
Hyojin sagged into her bed in relief and felt laughter bubble in her chest.

She felt like a high schooler all over again.

* * *

"When you said dinner was on you, I was expecting something like a restaurant," Solji chuckled as she paid the delivery man for the takeaway.  
  
Hyojin shrugged from the couch as she popped a dumpling into her mouth. “You shouldn’t expect much from starving artists," she said.  
  
Solji sat down with a wry smile and nudged her shoulder. "I still can't believe you're a music producer. Have I heard any of your songs before?" she asked curiously. Hyojin hummed as she fiddled with the controller in her hands, eyes glued to the TV in concentration.  
  
"If you had, I wouldn't be buying us fast food and would be treating you to something nicer," she laughed. When Hyojin noticed her frown she quickly corrected herself. "I'm kidding, I'm just lazy. You've probably heard one."  
  
"Which one?" Solji asked as she unpacked the food.  
  
Hyojin wrinkled her nose in thought. "Ever heard of 'Troublemaker'?"  
  
There was an immediate gasp. "Seriously? You produced that song?" she stared at her starry eyed. Hyojin let out a breathy laugh and quickly brushed off her praise.

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged and drew her attention back to the food. “What about you? What do you do nowadays?”

“Ah, I’m just a vocal teacher,” Solji waved a hand dismissively as if it wasn’t impressive. Hyojin nudged her gently with a smile.

“You sing?”

It was Solji’s turn to be flustered now.

“Of course, it’s my job,” she sniffed. Hyojin rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean. Have you ever thought about being a singer? That was your dream in high school.”

There was a small pause in the conversation that made Hyojin turn to Solji, who had a thoughtful expression on her face. “I did think about it and I did go for it,” she admitted, “but one thing led to another and things didn’t end up working out,” she finished lamely. Hyojin quickly noticed Solji’s shift in mood and frowned.

Hesitantly, she brought her hand to Solji’s shoulder and squeezed it. Solji looked up at her gratefully and rested a hand on top of hers, causing Hyojin’s pulse quicken embarrassingly fast. “The world doesn’t know what they’re missing out on,” she said without thought. Solji glanced away with a breathy laugh and dropped her hand.

“I appreciate the compliment but you haven’t even heard me sing,” she shoved her.

Hyojin ran a hand through her hair with a smile and mindlessly moved her food around with her fork, distracting herself from the flush on her cheeks. “You were good in high school, so I can only imagine how much you’ve improved.”

The conversation fell into another lull after that, but it was comfortable silence. Despite how nervous Solji made her, there was a strange warmth that came with her. One that she hadn’t felt in years and was slowly realizing she missed.

They continued to catch up, telling old stories and reliving memories together that brought a fond smile to Hyojin’s face. They fell into a cycle of lighthearted teasing that Hyojin couldn’t stop herself from instigating since it meant hearing Solji’s obnoxious (precious) laugh.

“I see your habit of hitting people while laughing hasn’t changed,” Hyojin smiled as she dramatically rubbed the imaginary bruises on her shoulder. Solji rolled her eyes with a small smile and leaned over her to grab her beer off the table. Hyojin leaned backwards awkwardly, trying not to notice the sweet scent of her perfume and the way her shirt rode up slightly, exposing the small of her back.

She cleared her throat as Solji drew back. They both sat there quietly on the carpet, backs leaning against the couch and the faint sound of music playing in the background. Solji took a long sip of her beer and glanced over at Hyojin curiously, the way she had been doing all night as if she had a question on the tip of her tongue but was too hesitant to ask.

Hyojin caught her gaze and smiled. “What is it, Solji?” she asked finally. Solji bit her lip and furrowed her brows in thought before looking back at her, parting her lips as if to finally speak only to close them again. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me,” she said, hoping her words sounded as sincere as she wanted them to be.

With a huff, Solji waved away her worry and smiled. “It’s nothing,” she said and looked down at her lap. “I was just wondering… “ her words trailed off as her gaze rested on Hyojin’s wrist.

“Have you found your soulmate yet?”

Hyojin blinked.

_What?_

“What?” she blurted.

Noticing Hyojin’s shock, Solji quickly withdrew her question. “Ah, nevermind, it’s not my place to ask,” Solji apologized. Hyojin shook her head slowly and took a breath.

“It’s okay, you just caught me off guard,” she said and anxiously ran a hand through her hair. She glanced over at Solji, who still seemed regretful of her question, and sighed to herself. “I haven’t,” she admitted. Solji looked at her in surprise and, Hyojin noticed, a hint of relief.

“Really?” she furrowed her brows. Hyojin shrugged and took a long sip from her beer, not at all ready for this conversation. “How much time do you have left?” Solji asked.

Hyojin took a deep breath and leaned back, staring off into the ceiling. “I don’t know,” she said simply. Solji just blinked.

“You don’t know? Is there something wrong with your timer?”

“I don’t check it.”

A beat passed.

“Why?”

A knot formed in the base of her throat and Hyojin closed her eyes, hoping it’d make it easier for her to speak. “It’s kind of a long story but, in short, I just think this whole soulmate thing is bullshit,” when Solji didn’t respond, she took it as a hint to continue. “My first love didn’t turn out so well and it’s kind of put me off from love altogether, you know?” she looked towards Solji and furrowed her brows slightly when she noticed the look in her eyes. There was something strangely melancholic there that vanished as quickly as it appeared.

“I understand,” Solji said softly and diverted her eyes to the floor. “I thought I found mine a few years ago, but like always they weren’t the one,” she sighed wistfully and looked back up at Hyojin. “Like you, I’m starting to think soulmates are… _bullshit_.”

Hyojin held back a snort at Solji’s awkward (cute) attempt at cursing and smiled gratefully. “Don’t give up yet,” she nudged her. “I know your soulmate is out there thinking the same thing, wondering if it’s still worth the wait.”

Despite the solemn mood, Solji smiled. “I should say the same for you then,” she gazed at her. “You won’t know you’ve met the one if you never look.”

“Ah,” Hyojin sighed and slowly shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll be able to move on any time soon,” she said, the words feeling heavy as they left her mouth.

“They must have been pretty special,” Solji spoke softly.

Hyojin looked up at her, their eyes locking for just a moment before she averted them. She swallowed the knot in her throat and took another drink, finishing her can in one go and setting it down on the table with a sigh. “They were,” she smiled.

_You are._

* * *

The rest of the night passed by in a blur and before Hyojin knew it, she was walking Solji out the door and reluctantly saying goodbye. Solji pouted as she slipped on her coat and gave Hyojin a tight hug, also not wanting to leave. “I really missed you,” she smiled. “Let’s hang out again soon, okay? Even if it’s just takeaway and beer in your living room again.”  
  
Hyojin chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “I promise next time it’ll be a little nicer,” she said. Solji pulled away with a smile which quickly fell the minute she noticed her wrist. Hyojin raised a brow at the sudden change.

“What is it?”

Solji tilted her head in confusion as she examined her timer, her brows knitted tightly together. “My timer,” she said. “It changed.” She held out her wrist and pointed at it. “It used to be a year, but it dropped to a month.”

Wordlessy, Hyojin brushed a thumb over the timer as she stared. She could feel her heart sigh while reading the timestamp. “Guess you’ll be meeting your soulmate sooner than you thought,” she laughed and prayed it didn’t sound as hollow as it felt. Solji examined her wrist again before dropping her hand to her side.

“I guess,” she whispered, still puzzled. “I’ll get going now,” she looked back at Hyojin, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Hyojin waved with a small smile. As soon as Solji was out of sight, Hyojin closed the door and sagged against it with a sigh.

Again, she was alone with the ache in her chest.

* * *

In the dark of Hyojin’s bedroom, restless thoughts circled her mind. Her mind kept rewinding back to when Solji said goodbye, the warm hug she gave her and the dreaded timer that ruined the moment. Her mouth kept running dry when she thought about the countdown. A month. Solji had a month until she met her soulmate and, as if the world had to mock her, she found out right in front of her.

_Why the hell did it change? Why?_

Huffing, she turned over to her side. Her wrist rested inches away from her face, the timer seeming ridiculously daunting as Hyojin stared at it. Ironically, this thing that was supposed to direct her love life was ruining it. A thought crossed her mind, but Hyojin dismissed it as quickly as it came.

_How desperate would I be to think I caused the change?_

Hyojin stared at her wrist, internally struggling with herself to not check it. Whether it was out of fear or stubbornness, she wasn’t even sure of anymore. With a shaky breath, she raised her hand to her sleeve, tugging down and revealing a sliver of it. Her heart raced in her chest and before she knew it she was pulling it back up and retracting her hand.

She balled her hands into fists and stared back up at the ceiling, wanting to cry out in frustration.

_Even after all this time, I’m still afraid._


	2. Present & Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience is a virtue.

The invitation for Heeyeon’s wedding arrives in the mail and it hits Hyojin harder than she thought it would.

Her hands gripped the paper tightly as she scanned the words. They felt menacing despite them being printed in pretty black font. Even the flowery perfume they were scented with intimidated her.

“You are formally invited to our wedding on the 16th of February…” Hyojin whispered under her breath. The 16th. That was less than a month away from now.

_Great._

She sighed and folded the paper back into the envelope, tossing it onto her kitchen counter without another glance.

She should be happy. She should be ecstatic for Heeyeon.

But why did she feel so heavy?

Her eyes drifted to her wrist and another pang formed in her chest. Time was catching up to everyone else but her. Heeyeon already found her soulmate, Solji only had a few weeks until she met hers, how long until Hyelin finally found hers and Hyojin was left alone?

Hesitantly, she reached for her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She needed a distraction for tonight and maybe alcohol. Maybe a lot of alcohol.

* * *

When Hyelin arrived, Hyojin heard her before she saw her. “How’d you know I was here?” Hyelin grinned as she approached Hyojin who was leaning against the doorway.

“I heard you all the way up here. You need to work on your indoor voice by the way,” Hyojin squinted at her. Hyelin shrugged and held up the beer she brought as an apology.

“Here,” she said as she placed it on the kitchen table. “I normally charge extra for deliveries but I’m willing to give you a senior discount.” Normally, a comment like that would have irked her, but Hyojin simply sighed through her nose, not even having the energy to retort back. She reached for a beer, popped it open and sagged on her couch. Hyelin arched a brow at her.

“That bad, huh?”

She joined her within a moment, beer in hand and cross legged on the couch waiting expectantly for a reply. Hyojin shifted awkwardly and took another drink.

“Did you get the invitation for Heeyeon’s wedding?” she glanced at her. Hyelin pursed her lips and nodded.

“Yeah, that was something. Crazy, right? I feel like just yesterday we were in high school, teasing her about her crush on Junghwa and now here we are weeks away from their wedding.”

Hyojin let out a laugh and shook her head. “That’ll be you soon, just wait.” Hyelin stayed quiet and let her gaze drop to the can in her hand.

“Is that why you called me over? The whole soulmate thing?”

There was a pause.

“I just needed a distraction from it,” she sighed. “It’s like everywhere I turn I can hear the faint ticking of a clock somewhere and it’s driving me crazy.”

Hyelin frowned and scooted closer. “I know this is the last thing you want to hear, Hyojin, but,-”

“Don’t,” Hyojin shook her head.

“Hyojin.”

A frustrated huff slipped past her lips as she ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t, Hyelin, I just can’t do it,” she clutched her can tighter. “It’s been so long since I looked.”

She felt Hyelin’s hand on her shoulder. “Is it because of Solji?”

The silence that followed was enough to answer Hyelin’s question. She felt her hand tighten on her shoulder and sagged deeper into the couch.

“I’m still in love with her,” Hyojin whispered, yet the words felt heavy on her tongue. Hyojin loved her, wanted her more than anything, but she already knew they weren’t meant for each other and checking the timer would just confirm it. Again.

She wasn’t ready for that heartbreak yet. She wanted more time with Solji, wanted every second she could spend with her until Solji’s timer ran out and she was forced to accept their fate.

Fate.

Hyojin didn’t like how dramatic that sounded. Or how true it was.

“Fuck,” Hyojin whispered as she took another drink. “Love sucks, Hyelin. Don’t fall in love.”

“Kind of impossible,” Hyelin laughed dryly as she held up her wrist, displaying her timer. “Let me just say one more thing,” her gaze turned serious. “The longer you two spend together, it’s just passing the time until Solji finally meets her soulmate. It’s going to hurt the most then. You need to tell her before that.”

Hyojin fell silent upon hearing Hyelin’s words. 

She swallowed the knot in her throat and let her head fall into her hands. “I really don’t know if I can,” she said.

“You can and you will. I hate seeing you hurt like this, Hyojin.”

She was right, unfortunately. Hyojin couldn’t keep torturing herself like this. She needed to do something.

“I’ll try finding the right time,” she gave in with a sigh.

_The right time… as if there’s much left._

Hyelin brightened up and gave her shoulder another squeeze. She downed the rest of her beer in one go and crushed the can with a burp. “Good. I guess we’re gonna need more of this, huh?”

“I’ll get some blankets and a pillow out. I already know you’re gonna overdo it and pass out on my couch. Again.”

Hyelin scoffed and held a hand to her chest. “I never overdo it. I can handle my alcohol.”

Hyojin snorted as she got up. “Right. Remember when you stayed at a bar for 3 days straight?”

“2 days and 1 night.”

“Whatever.”

* * *

Hyojin only managed to see Solji once in the few weeks that flew by, both of them too busy to plan anything outside of their schedules. Despite being disappointed, Hyojin also felt a bit relieved.

It gave her time to think things clearly, time to sort out her complicated feelings that didn’t seem so complicated at all now.

Everything was settled. She was going to confess to Solji at the wedding tomorrow.

She had already promised Hyelin she would so there was no backing out now. Hyelin wouldn’t allow her to.

As if on cue, her phone chimed from under her pillow. She reached for it, squinting at her screen in the dark as she unlocked it.

_Hyelin: tomorrow!! don’t even think of backing out… or else_

_Hyojin: i feel like im being threatened by a puppy_

_Hyelin: >:( _

Hyojin rolled her eyes and slid her phone back under her pillow. She needed to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

As her eyes slipped closed, the soft sound of ticking filled the room.

* * *

_Heeyeon just had to call us here early._

The day dragged on longer than she thought it would’ve. By noon Hyojin and Hyelin had already spent an hour trying to calm Heeyeon down about the wedding, soothing any and all worries she was thinking up. Hyelin had been of little help in consoling her so Hyojin did most of the talking and, boy, was that exhausting.

Heeyeon’s anxiety was at least enough to distract Hyojin from her own for a bit. The wedding was in an hour and guests were set to arrive soon. Guests which included Solji.

She closed her eyes with a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. She couldn’t help but think on all the possible scenarios that could follow after her confession. It could end one of two ways: horribly or fine, though Hyojin didn’t even know what she considered as “fine”. A groan left her mouth as she leaned on the railing of the gazebo and stared out towards the ocean. Despite the stress weighing on her, she took a moment to appreciate the scenery and felt slightly thankful Heeyeon had chosen a beach venue for the wedding. She watched the sun cast hues of orange and yellow across the water as it began to set.

A soft chime came from her phone, interrupting the silence.

_Hyelin: weddings starting soon. where are you?_

With a sigh, Hyojin pocketed her phone and spared one last glance at the water. If everything went okay, maybe she’d be able to share the view with _her_.

_Maybe._

* * *

“I do.”  
  
“You may now kiss the bride.”

Heeyeon and Junghwa shared a shy, chaste kiss but it didn’t stop Hyelin from cheering excitedly. Hyojin hid her embarrassment behind her hand and heard a faint giggle come from Solji beside her. They all stood up in their seats as Junghwa and Heeyeon made their way down the carpet aisle. Hyojin felt her lips tug into a wide smile as she watched them happily pass by, chuckling lightly at the sight of Heeyeon trying her hardest not to skip with her arm linked around Junghwa’s.

Guests shared toasts of congratulations and excitement, save for Hyojin and Hyelin who had already said enough at the reunion. Somewhere along the way, Hyojin had lost Hyelin, though she had a strong hunch that she was near the free bar. She couldn’t help but send her a quick text.

_Hyojin: where are you?_

_Hyelin: in heaven. dont look for me._

_Hyojin: so... at the bar?_

_Hyelin: dont worry about me! go get your girl already!_

Hyojin rolled her eyes at her screen. She had a point. She needed to get this over with already but was wasting time trying to find the confidence to. She pocketed her phone with a sigh and glanced around. It was too loud to think with the music blaring and the chatter of guests around her. Hyojin needed some place quiet.

Quickly, she stood up and made her way to the gazebo she was at earlier.

 _Maybe the ocean will calm my nerves a bit,_ she sighed to herself.

Her feet slowed down as she approached the structure and noticed a familiar figure there. Her heart began to pound in her chest when she recognized them.

Solji.

She approached quietly from behind, already feeling her mind blank at the sight of her. She was gazing out towards the ocean with a solemn expression. Hyojin hesitated coming any closer, not wanting to interrupt whatever she was doing.

“You can come closer,” Solji spoke suddenly. Hyojin stilled in surprise and couldn’t help the awkward laugh that left her mouth.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to be rude.”

Solji turned her head towards her with a smile and Hyojin felt her breath hitch. The moonlight left a glossy sheen on her hair and illuminated her curls perfectly. Hyojin restrained herself from reaching out to run her fingers through them.

“You okay?” Solji spoke softly. Hyojin blinked quickly and realized she was staring.

“Yeah, yeah,” she stammered. “Just needed to get away from the crowd for a bit. You?”

“Same here,” she smiled.

Hyojin leaned against the railing beside her, close enough for her to see the glistening of her eyes. A cool breeze passed, causing Solji to shiver. “Here,” Hyojin said, shrugging off her jacket.

“Oh, it’s okay!” Solji shook her head politely but Hyojin didn’t budge.

“I know you’re freezing in that dress,” Hyojin smiled. “Take it.”

Solji gave in with a sigh, but bit down her smile as Hyojin slipped it  around her shoulders. “Thank you,” she nudged lightly before leaning her head on her. Hyojin ignored the flip in her stomach and stared straight ahead at the water. “Hey,” Solji looked up at her after a moment.

Hesitantly, Hyojin glanced down. “Yeah?”

“Let’s walk on the beach.”

“Seriously?” Hyojin laughed.

“Come on,” Solji beamed and reached for her hand. Hyojin didn’t have time to object before Solji pulled her away and lead her down a set of worn down wooden steps.

After throwing off her heels, Solji looked towards Hyojin expectantly. “You too.”

“I didn’t know you were so demanding,” Hyojin laughed as she slipped hers off. Solji giggled excitedly and reached for her hand again, pulling her ahead as she walked along the shore. She dug her toes into the damp sand and stood far enough for the waves to barely reach her feet. Hyojin slowly adjusted to the cold water while she walked through it.

“It’s calming isn’t it?” she smiled. Hyojin glanced at her shyly before returning the smile.

“Yeah,” she breathed. Her eyes drifted to their hands clasped together. The moment was perfect. It was serene, with Solji by her side and their hands intertwined as they walked along the beach. A gentle breeze blew by and Solji leaned into her side for warmth. The tug in her heart only pushed Hyojin to speak. She knew that this was the perfect time. She needed to tell her now.

“Sol-”

“Hyo-”

They both paused as their eyes met, before breaking into laughter. “Sorry,” Hyojin ran a hand through her hair. “You go first.”

Solji smiled gratefully and swung their hands as they walked along the water. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something, but we haven’t had the chance to hang out again until now,” she said.

The vague words were enough to make Hyojin tense. “Tell me what?” she said.

A moment of silence passed between them before she responded. “Well,” she said. “I think I found my soulmate.”

_What?_

The confession made her halt. “You what?” she said, the words sounding strained as they left her mouth. Suddenly, the ocean breeze grew colder.

Solji glanced away, her grip on Hyojin’s hand loosening before she dropped it. “I’m not completely sure,” she said, still walking slowly ahead. Hyojin willed herself to follow despite how heavy her steps felt in the sand.

“What makes you think you did?”

There was a short pause. Solji’s gaze fell to the ground as she worried her bottom lip. “The timing, I guess. I haven’t felt this happy in a while and I know it’s because of them,” she looked up at her with a tentative smile. “I don’t know if they are, but I really want them to be.”

Hyojin’s heart was going a mile a minute as Solji spoke.

_Did I wait too long? Did I miss out on another chance? How much time does Solji have left? This isn’t what I planned._

_Fuck, I need to get out of here._

“That’s… great, Solji,” she said, willing her voice not to waver. Solji gazed at her curiously.

“Are you okay?” she furrowed her brows. Hyojin blinked, feeling the pinprick of tears threatening to spill from the corner of her eyes. The warmth in her chest from just moments ago quickly faded, letting the deep ache of disappointment take over.

“I’m fine,” she replied too quickly and took a deep breath. “I hope whoever they are, they turn out to be your soulmate,” she forced a smile. Solji’s expression remained concerned. Hyojin averted her gaze, unable to meet her eyes for the sake of the ache in heart. She felt her hand rest on her shoulder.

“Hyoj-”

The sound of ringing interrupted her. Hyojin silently prayed to every god out there that this was a means of escape. She shot Solji an apologetic smile and reached into her pocket, quickly answering the call.

“Hello?”

“Uh, Hyojin? You mind picking Hyelin up?” Heeyeon answered. “She’s napping on the bar counter.”  
  
Hyojin sighed deeply through her nose, for once not out of irritation but relief.

“I”m on my way,” she said before hanging up. Solji stared at her expectantly.

“I have to go,” Hyojin said, still not being able to meet her eyes. “Hyelin took advantage of the free bar now I have to go peel her off the counter,” she laughed airily. Solji simply nodded, though Hyojin could sense the disappointment in her response.  
  
“It’s okay,” she said and began walking back with her. “We should talk about this another time.”

“Hyelin’s drinking habits?”

“No,” Solji laughed. “The soulmate thing.”

Hyojin tensed her jaw and simply hummed, “Yeah, another time.”

They continued the rest of the walk in tense silence.

* * *

Hyojin tried her hardest to avoid Solji for the next week. Hyelin told her she was being ridiculous but was she really? She couldn’t face her after that night. Hyojin almost poured her heart out to her but didn’t because Solji admitted she might have met her soulmate. What else was she supposed to do? Act like that didn’t tear her heart in half?

Instead of moping around about it, she threw herself into her work. After Solji came back into her life, she had to admit she had written an embarrassing amount of love songs since. None of them felt appropriate now though, so she simply scrapped them and started on a new one. Locking herself in the studio and tinkering around in the dark was probably the worst way to cope with her feelings but she didn’t care. It distracted her from soulmates. It distracted her from the miserable timer wrapped around her wrist.

It distracted her from _her_.

* * *

_Solji: More days got added to my timer. I wish I knew what was making it change._

_Solji: Hyojin?_

_Solji: ...why won’t you answer my calls?_

_Solji: Did I do something wrong? Please talk to me._

 

_Solji: I miss you._

* * *

“Wow, this is good,” Hyelin grinned. Hyojin leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smile.

“Thanks. It’s just a demo so it needs some tweaking, but I’m really happy with how it’s coming along.”

“Cool. What are you gonna title it?”

“I was thinking ‘Every night’ but I’m still deciding,” Hyojin said as she closed her laptop. Hyelin tossed a chip at her from her spot on the couch and cheered when it landed directly in Hyojin’s mouth.

“It’s a good song. I was wondering what had you holed up in the studio for the past few weeks,” Hyelin mused. Hyojin hummed and joined Hyelin on the couch, sprawling across it with a tired sigh.

“I needed the distraction,” Hyojin shrugged. Hyelin grimaced as she popped another chip into her mouth.  
  
“I still feel bad about the wedding,” Hyelin sighed. “I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.” Hyojin quickly shook her head and waved a dismissive hand.

“It’s nothing, Hyelin. If anything, I’m thankful. Now I know I really don’t have a chance and I can move on,” she laughed dryly. Hyelin frowned and nudged her with her foot.

“Don’t be like that. At least now you can look at your timer without worrying.”

Hyojin stilled and glanced down at it in sudden realization. “You’re right, wow,” she blinked. “I still don’t think I’ll be able to anytime soon.” Hyelin hummed in understanding. As she was about to speak the soft chime of the doorbell interrupted them. Hyojin furrowed her brows and glanced at Hyelin.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” Hyelin asked. Hyojin shook her head and got up with a groan. When she peered through the peephole in her door, she felt her heart skip. She cursed under her breath and caught Hyelin’s attention.

“What is it?”

_More like who is it._

“It’s Solji,” she whispered. Hyelin’s eyes widened slightly and she quickly stood up. “Don’t leave,” Hyojin clasped her hands together and pleaded. Hyelin shook her head and grabbed her bag.

“You two need to work things out properly. You can’t avoid her forever,” she gave her a pointed look. Hyojin buried her face into her hands before running one through her hair. “Good luck.” Hyelin squeezed her shoulder before opening the door. Solji blinked in confusion when Hyelin appeared and quickly skirted past her. Hyojin stood there awkwardly, her gaze locking with Solji’s.

“Hey,” Hyojin spoke softly. Solji stood there silently, her brows pinched together and a deep frown settled into her expression. 

“Is that all you have to say? ‘Hey?’” she scoffed. Hyojin blinked in surprise as Solji walked past her and entered the apartment. Now Hyojin was confused.

“Are you okay?” Hyojin asked, though as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted it. Solji tossed her purse on the couch before turning towards her.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly. Hyojin felt her heart squeeze in her chest when she noticed the tears brimming her eyes. “Is it because of what I said that night?” her eyes bored into her. Hyojin fell silent, unsure of what to say and the quiet of the apartment only added to the tension.

“No, of course not,” Hyojin said but even she didn’t believe it. “It’s complicated, Solji.”

“Please, explain to me then,” Solji pleaded. “I’m really worried that I pushed you away.”

“Why would you think that?” Hyojin asked, her eyes finally meeting hers. She hadn’t expected her to react like this. She knew she would have been hurt, but not to the point of tears. Hyojin only felt worse realizing that she was the reason behind them.

This time, Solji fell mute. It was silent to the point where Hyojin swore she could feel her heart beating to the tick of her timer. Solji let out a shaky sigh and ran a hand through her hair before closing her eyes.

“I don’t know if I can find the words to say it,” Solji whispered as she sat down. A single tear rolled down her and cheek and Hyojin balled her hands to keep from wiping it away. “I’m guessing you still haven’t looked at your timer?” she turned her head towards her.

Hyojin shook her head. Solji let out a dry laugh before pulling down her sleeve and looking at her. “Mine keeps jumping around, but now it’s stuck at 10 seconds.”

Hyojin felt her heart skip.

“10 seconds?” she gasped. Solji looked up at her with tears spilling down her cheeks and this time Hyojin couldn’t hold back from touching her. “Solji, why are you crying so much?” she whispered as her thumb brushed across her cheek. Solji gently nuzzled into her hand with a sigh.

“Hyojin,” she breathed, looking into her eyes. “Please look at your timer.”

Quickly, Hyojin retracted her hand. “What? Why?” she leaned back.

“Please, I need to know,” Solji said.

“Need to know what?”

“I need to know if you’re my soulmate.”

In that moment, she felt the world stop spinning. Their eyes stayed locked as the words processed over and over again in Hyojin’s brain before something clicked. “Are you being serious right now?” her voice shook. Solji nodded wordlessly and it was enough for her. With trembling hands, Hyojin reached for her sleeve. Her eyes stayed on Solji as she rolled it up and turned her wrist over to where the numbers were. Solji’s gaze left hers and flitted to her wrist, then to hers, and back to Hyojin’s.

Anxiety swelled in her chest the longer Solji stayed silent but Hyojin refused to look. She couldn’t.

“Hyojin,” Solji finally spoke. She swallowed the knot in her throat and nodded.

“Yeah?”

“Look at it.”

“I can’t,” she shook her head with a sniffle. Tears now threatened to spill from her eyes. Solji’s hand covered hers and squeezed lightly.

“What are you so afraid of?”

_What am I afraid of?_

“I’m afraid I’m not your soulmate,” she confessed, the words leaving her winded as they finally left her mouth. Solji’s mouth curved into a small smile.

“I don’t think you’ll have to be afraid anymore, sweetheart,” she said as she pulled her timer up. Hyojin felt her heart drop into her stomach when it came into view.

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

_00:00:00_

The timer beeped quietly, followed by a soft click. Hyojin could hardly believe her eyes as Solji unwrapped it from her wrist and did the same to her own. She felt Solji’s hand cup her cheek, turning her gaze towards her. “When I said I think I found my soulmate, I meant you.” she smiled.

In a blink, it felt like an entire weight was lifted off of her. She stared at her bare wrists with a shaky sigh and then turned back to Solji.

“You’re… you’re my soulmate,” she stammered, still in shock.

“I think my timer was waiting for you to realize that,” Solji smiled. “It started counting down again as soon as you looked.”

Hyojin couldn’t hold back the tears that spilled down her face. Whether it was out of relief or happiness or shock, she didn’t know. Startled, Solji wrapped her arms around her and soothed the back of her head. “Hey, it’s okay.” she smiled.

“I’m so sorry for making you wait so long,” Hyojin whispered, “This could’ve been so much simpler if I had just looked from the start.” Solji shook her head and pulled back, her hands resting on Hyojin’s face.

“It doesn’t matter, Hyojin. I would’ve waited forever for you.”

Without thought, Hyojin leaned forward.

Her lips were soft, gentle, and fit perfectly against hers. A sigh left Solji’s mouth as Hyojin threaded her fingers through her hair and brought her closer, deepening the kiss. It was desperate and Hyojin didn’t hold back from pouring every emotion she had felt for her after all these years. Solji gasped slightly and pulled back, breathless and overwhelmed. They parted and leaned their foreheads together, eager to catch their breath.

“That… was definitely worth the wait,” Hyojin smiled and pressed a kiss to her nose. Solji giggled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You were worth the wait.”

* * *

Hyojin rubbed her eyes as she stirred awake and frowned when she noticed the empty spot next to her. She sat up, squinting when the faint scent of breakfast met her nose. As if on autopilot, Hyojin stepped out of bed and trudged into the kitchen, a sleepy smile forming on her face when she entered.

“Good morning,” she said, as she walked up behind Solji and wrapped her arms around her. Solji crinkled her nose as she smiled while Hyojin tried to pepper her in kisses.

“Stop, I’ll burn your eggs,” she laughed. Hyojin pulled back and peered over at the stove.

“I could get used to waking up to breakfast every day,” Hyojin grinned as she reached for a piece of toast. Solji smacked her hand away with a spatula.

“Well don’t, this is only a one time thing,” she smiled.

“Why’s that?” Hyojin frowned. Solji looked at her in surprise.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what today is.”  
  
Hyojin paused in thought, feigning ignorance. "Wow," Solji huffed through her nose and turned back to the stove with a tight lipped expression. 

Hyojin smiled and hugged her from behind again, giggling as Solji tied to pry out of her grasp.

“I’m kidding, sweetheart,” she smiled as she pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Happy 1 year anniversary.”

Solji’s frown quickly faded. “You test me sometimes,” she bit down her smile.

“But you love it.”

“I don’t love it,” Solji protested, “but, I do love you.”

Flustered, Hyojin rolled her eyes. “You can be really cheesy sometimes.”  
  
“But you love it.”

“I don’t, but I do love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the amount of times i rewrote this chapter......................... anyway i hope you enjoyed and im sorry if theres any typos ill fix those later ♡


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